why i chose an unmedicated birth

"We have a secret in our culture and it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong. "

Laura Stavoe Harm

When I first found out I was pregnant with Jack, there were very few things in life that I was sure about. I knew how much I loved his dad and I knew I would do everything I could to keep him safe and bring him into this world happy and healthy. When Will and I started discussing exactly how we would get the little guy here and I told him I wanted an unmedicated birth, I'm pretty sure he thought I was crazy. And in hindsight I really didn't have any idea what I was saying. As women, we hear all the time how painful and scary childbirth is. We hear the horror stories of the epidurals that didn't quite work or the hours and hours of pushing only to be rushed into the operating room at the last moment. So we do our best to get things under control. We set our induction dates, we schedule our c-sections, we know what medicines we can get and how fast they will work and how soon we can get them. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The best way to bring a child into this world is any way you possibly can. I think by becoming educated on the medicines available and the induction process and the ways c-sections are performed we feel like we have a little bit more control over something we've learned to fear. It makes sense and it gives us peace and, if everything goes according to planned, we get to bring our babies into the world feeling strong and confident and peaceful. That is a beautiful thing that I respect and understand and have absolutely no argument against.

I chose to have an unmedicated birth for some of those very same reasons. I wanted to feel a little bit more control over something I'd been taught to fear. For me, that meant taking away the variables. Stripping the whole thing down to the basic mechanics and leaving the rest out. Instead of becoming educated on the variables, I wanted to know more about the constant. Because at the end of the day, my baby was going to be born somehow. So I read books, I asked questions, I watched YouTube videos (don't do that) and I found people who understood and supported my desires. After a few conversations and a documentary or two, Will was that person. Our doula, Natalie, was that person. The doctor we chose was that person. And eventually, our families were those people. I chose an unmedicated birth because I wanted to give my body a chance to show me what it could do on its own before I decided that it needed help. I wanted to trust that I was made for this moment and I wanted to witness a true miracle of God knowing that I could not have done it alone. I wanted to be a part of a bond with the women of history, to truly understand the labor it took to perpetuate the human race. I wanted a clear head when my baby was placed on my chest and an easier recovery when we got home. I wanted to begin my journey as a mother knowing that I had just done one of the most difficult things that I would ever do and that I had survived it.

Going into it, I could've never known how the experience would bring Will and I closer than I ever thought it was possible to be with another person. I couldn't have known that it would give me the confidence I needed to get through those first anxiety filled weeks. Going into it, I had absolutely no idea how much something could hurt and how dutifully my body could handle it. Birth, especially of the unmedicated variety, is not glamorous, it's not quick and it's not clean. But it is certainly the most beautiful thing I have ever been a part of.

stay tuned for our birth story...